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Ephesians 4:1-3

4 As a prisoner of the Lord, I urge you: Live a life that is worthy of the calling He has graciously extended to you. 2 Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love. 3 Make every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit has already created, with peace binding you together.

 

I’ve been a pastor for over twenty years and love Jesus. I make that statement first because even though it's easy to love Jesus, loving people isn’t. To be honest, it's hard to love difficult people. You know, those people who are arrogant, rude, critical, and just plain mean. Sometimes I feel like I am not even saved because of how I feel about a certain person because they are difficult to like, much less love.

It’s when I open the Bible and read scriptures like Ephesians 4 that convicts me to examine myself according to the way I love people.  Paul urges us to live a life that is worthy of the calling that Jesus has graciously extended to us.  Ephesians 2 tells just what kind of life Jesus extended to us; You were once a corpse dead in life and buried by sin. You were the offspring of Satan himself; he owned you. We were all falling headlong for the persuasive passions of this world, obeying the impulses of perverse thoughts motivated by dark powers. But God, with His unfathomable richness of His love and mercy, focused on us. United us with the Anointed one and infused our lifeless souls with life- even though we were buried in a mountain of sin- and saved us by His Grace.

That’s the gravity of Grace. While we were buried under a mountain of sin, running the wrong way, full of hatred and cold love, God extended GRACE to you and me. We were difficult people too! We often overlook how difficult we used to be and, in reality, how difficult we still are.  It’s normal when you’ve been wronged or offended to want to try and right the wrong, to make the person who wronged you feel your pain or pay for their transgressions, but there is no win in your anger. The only thing your anger does is give the devil a place in your heart.

What if we handled our offenses differently? What if the day we were offended, we sought out reconciliation, forgiveness, and extended grace to those who have offended us? What if we treated difficult people with love and kindness? What if instead of being humiliated, we showed humility? What if we were gentle instead of lashing out in anger and rage? And what if we just slowed down and were not so quick to retaliate with a piece of our mind, and we tried listening for a change? As James advises us, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

When we look past someone’s negative outward behaviors—bullying, criticizing, mocking, etc.—and begin to wonder what might be happening in their hearts, we start seeing them the way God does. Our love can “cover over a multitude of sins.” 

 

You see, people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways.

 

Think about it. People don’t just hate others for no reason. It’s often because they’ve been so hurt and broken in the past that it’s easier for them to become aggressive toward someone else. They’re desperately crying out for love and acceptance in all the wrong ways.

 

Here are three ways to respond to the difficult people in your life:

 

  1. Love people as Christ has loved you. Remember that we can’t change people, but we can introduce them to the one who can. (John 13:34)
  2. Forgive people as Christ has forgiven you. Remember that Jesus taught us to forgive “seventy times seven” times per day—in other words, fully and with limitless grace. (Matthew 18:21-22)
  3. Never give up on people because Christ has never given up on you. Remember that walking through life with people is messy and takes patience. (2 Timothy 2:11-13)

 

When an offense arises, and it will, you have the opportunity to handle it differently than you did before. You have an opportunity to make a difference. Yes, your flesh wants to be right, give them a piece of your mind and set them straight, but your flesh is wrong. Quit allowing your decisions to be directed by your feelings and allow the Spirit to direct you. The Spirit has already created unity with peace binding you together. Now, all you have to do is preserve what the Spirit has already done. Choose Grace and Mercy because it triumphs over judgment. 

It’s not easy to love difficult people, but it is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. Let the love of God shine through you this week!