Are You Easily Offended?

A highway I travel almost daily has an exit ramp on the right side. Because I drive this road often, I know I need to stay in the right lane at a specific point. However, it never fails that a highway rebel will always choose another path. They accelerate rapidly and eventually force their way into the actual lane at the last minute. This scenario causes me to become, um, easily offended. Do you ever feel that way?

Why do we get so easily offended?

Why in the world do we get so easily offended by the actions of others? To be easily offended means that we are resentful, annoyed, or even insulted because of the actions or words of others. The easily offended are often unhappy, frequently complaining and assuming malicious intent instead of accumulating the facts. They tend to make mountains out of molehills.

If you’re a person who’s easily offended, chances are strong that you identify too much with being right. You might even find your worth in it. Think about my traffic example. Maybe you think: I’d never cut someone off—but you have. Essentially, we get angry because we assume we’re a better person than the one we are offended by. We too quickly forget we’re all in the same boat: the imperfect boat.

Let me ask a question: “Has Jesus called you to be right or to make a difference?” If it is to make a difference and let me help you, He has, we have to approach the wrongs in this world differently. We can no longer allow our emotions and feelings to lead us; the Spirit must lead us.

Emotions are meant to indicate, not dictate.

We might even assume others are intentionally trying to provoke or hurt us—because they’re clearly not as good and pure as we are, right? We form instant negative opinions about others based on this hurtful assumption. Choosing your opinions over the facts is often when an offense happens.

How do we avoid being offended?

1. Lower your expectation of people.

Proverbs 19:11 NIV

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

The truth is that people are people. As long as we deal with people, we will get hurt, they will let us down, and people will offend us. Don’t blame God or the church; it was an imperfect person just like us.

Jesus was never offended by people’s sins. Jesus died for the people who mocked, beat and crucified him on the cross. Jesus forgave and kept loving Peter, who denied him and betrayed him. He didn't judge the woman who had five previous husbands and was shacking up with a guy at the time. He offered her GRACE! Jesus even died for you! He extended Grace to all of us, and now He expects us to extend Grace to the people who might offend us.

Try giving people the benefit of the doubt. If you want to assume, just assume they did not mean to hurt or offend you. Maybe they’re responding to real hurt and stress in their own life. You and I have said many offensive things, not even meaning to do so. A person with a mature faith will abstain from making assumptions and instead choose to give the benefit of the doubt.

2. Lighten up.

Realize it’s not about you. Contrary to our thoughts, not everyone thinks of us all the time. We assume that the other person had us in mind when we get offended. That, my friend, is arrogance. There is a strong chance you weren’t even in the equation when they said or did that offensive thing. Lighten up by not making yourself the center of the world—and lighten up by letting go of the offense.

3. Talk yourself off the ledge.

When you feel an offense rising, ask yourself: Why does this bother me? Why am I so bent out of shape over this? What is the big deal? Will this even matter in a day or a week? We must get to the core of why we are so upset. The only thing we gain by being offended is chaos on the inside.

I can prompt you with questions, but you have to discover the answers as to why you allow things to bother and annoy you. Ultimately, you must make some choices that require a bit of intention if you no longer want to reside in the “easily offended” category. It might be wise to ask yourself the following questions.

1. 1. Am I easily offended because there’s an element of truth to the comment or action?
   2. Am I easily offended because someone said something I’m afraid I have to disagree with?
   3. Am I easily offended because I’m looking to be offended?

Remember: No one can make you feel offended. You and I choose it. Will people say devastating things that make it challenging to remain unfounded? Yes. People are rude and say and do things that hurt and wound. But can we stop them? No. We cannot choose their actions, but we can choose how we respond—like letting go or creating boundaries for situations that show themselves to be repeatedly hurtful. Then, we can choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and talk ourselves down from situations when our offenses begin to skyrocket.

We can let go of offenses and find peace in our lives.

Romans 12:18 NIV

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

God calls us to do everything we can to live peacefully with everyone. Today and every day, let your prayer be: Father, help me to walk in freedom from offenses. May I generously shower people with the Grace You’ve showered upon me.